Saturday, February 10, 2007

Is Las Vegas America's Fattest City?

According to a new, admittedly non-scientific survey by Men's Fitness Magazine, Las Vegas has the dubious distinction of being the nation's fattest city.

On first thought I was willing to accept this as a compliment. If it wasn't considered unhealthy to be overweight, then I could envision a society where your weight was a sign of happiness and wealth. But alas, it's that darn degenerative disease thing that will get you in your early end. If not that, then self-image might be important to you. It's not? Well, good for you!

So I got to thinking, how can we Vegans turn this thing around? How can we change Vegas from fattest to fittest?

It won't be easy. So we need to start out slowly, and take it easy on the road to fitness. Heck, if Albuquerque can make it to the top of the list with its predominance of fattening Mexican food and choking, burning Cedar and Pinion trees, we may have a fighting chance.

Fitness,like everything in Vegas, begins in the casino. Here are my first steps towards Vegas skinniness, feel free to add your own:

  • When you go to the buffet, consider reducing your trips through the buffet line by one (example: if you are used to going 5 times, try 4 times for a while).

  • Don't use the casino valet. Park at the top of the furthest parking garage and use the stairs (no elevator). If this is too hard, get your spouse to walk up all those stairs and retrieve the car for you. This is a team effort.

  • When you play in the casino, consider using an oxygen mask and supply even if you don't medically need it. Only catch is that you will have to give up smoking, which is actually a good thing, especially for the people who don't smoke and sit next to you.

  • If you are a table game player, consider switching to craps. Standing up and shouting "yo 'leven" will burn off more calories.

  • Change your drink of choice to "coffee, black". No calories, and the caffeine will raise your metabolic rate. A side benefit: You will not be stopped for a DUI driving home, but with all that caffeine consumption, you may have to control your road rage!

  • When the lounge act plays a song you like, get up and dance. If you don't wish to give up the machine you are playing, just dance right where you are. The casino patrons will definitely enjoy the entertainment value, and you will get some aerobic benefit! (Assuming you are sitting next to enough oxygen generators.)

Related: article from Vegas Pop (Not as "funny" as mine!?)


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