Monday, October 08, 2007

How To SeeThe Consumer Electronic Show Exhibits

I was touring the Las Vegas sign boneyard and wandered off the beaten path. I came across a small lamp, a relic from the original Aladdin Hotel and Casino. Of course I rubbed it, and a 3-D holographic genie appeared offering me one wish.

"Before you make your wish" the genie said in an monotonic, electronically synthesized voice, "make sure it is on topic."

"Make sure it is Vegas related. Certain legal restrictions apply in the state of Nevada."

"Why only one wish?" I asked. "I thought you genies always offered three?"

The genie made a disappointed, mournful, minor key chord musical sound vaguely reminiscent of a 3 coin slot machine that you only put one coin into. "Sorry, master. You only rubbed my lamp once, so you only get one wish! Local ordinances and restrictions apply, please send a self addressed envelope to Oscar Goodman for complete game rules. Wishes must be Las Vegas related and on topic. You must be over 18 to play. Only US citizens and undocumented workers may apply..."

"OK, OK!" I said, interrupting the genie's legal disclaimers. "That does not sound like a big restriction, there are a lot of big jackpots I would not mind winning!"

The genie, as if on cue, using some artificial intelligence voice recognition program, immediately answered, "Sorry, master, no jackpots allowed, we are an offshore organization and we are not legally able to withhold taxes and properly report your winnings to the US authorities."

What the heck? I stumbled across a genie with a law degree? I was tempted to ask what exactly I could ask for, but that would have used up my one wish. I was not sure what I could ask for that was Vegas related. My mind wandered into uncharted territories. Vegas fantasies...

"Nothing illegal!" the genie blurted out and interrupted my reverie with a strange white noise echo. It was as if the genie were scanning my brain waves.

"Hurry up!" "My lithium battery is running out!" the genie suddenly spoke with the bandwidth of a cell phone on low battery. "You have about one minute to make your wish before I shut down! Shut down! Down!..."

The holographic image of the genie started to blink out.

So, under the extreme pressure of the moment, I took a stab at a legitimate wish. "Can I have an exhibitor pass to the Consumer Electronic Show?"

"Sure, no problem." said the genie. "Just don't tell them you got it here in a boneyard from an old lamp."

I agreed, and so it looks like I will be attending the International Consumer Electronic Show in January. That's my story, but the genie told me I really can't use it. See you all there!

Slideshow Of Neon Boneyard Photos


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