This is so well done, I could not resist including it. A Vegas connection? Remains to be seen. Larry King & CNN are apparently willing to pay for an interview, so Paris is returning to her New York roots, I guess. But you just know she'll be back in Vegas next week for her "Get Out Of Jail" party! Reminds me of the Evita song, "And The Money Kept Rolling In".
It's Spring Time For Paris!
Stay tuned for all the Paris Hilton news you really don't care at all about. I have to pick on Paris, since Michael Jackson has been strangely silent ( or is that silently strange? )lately.
News Of The Near Future: Paris Hilton scheduled for new nightclub appearances and a book signing tour!
Overheard in Paris Hilton's cell (talking to one of her handlers):
Handler:"Settle in, Paris, and forget the appeal, we have greater plans for you!"
Paris:"But I hate it here and the food is bad and the pillows aren't soft and I can't use my cell phone....."
Handler(interrupts her):"Paris, the only cell phone I've seen is the one Joe the guard is pointing at you. Smile, Paris, you will be out of here in two weeks with good behavior, and it will go pretty fast with all the meds they gave you!"
Paris(confused):"Like, what day is it today?"
Handler(ignoring her question):"Look, Paris, here is a notebook and a rubber pencil, so you don't hurt yourself --- write down a diary for the next fourteen days and we will find a ghost writer to write your story and help make your stay worthwhile. Already, we figure it will cost the clubs in LA and Vegas a half mil for you just to show your rehabilitated persona..."
Paris(points to a huge pile of paper):"Oh My Gawd! Well, I do have all these fan letters to read, and Joe the guard tells me great jokes and promises me..."
Handler:(putting his finger to his mouth):"Better hush now, Paris, and just enjoy the ride! Go back to sleep, Paris, and I'll talk to you tomorrow..."
OK - it is fiction, but I think in any case somebody talked some sense into her. She may not really be as dumb blondish as the press portrays her.
Exclusive Video Of Paris Hilton In Her Jail Cell (?)
"Rick Hilton has already been shopping his daughters ‘Get Out Of Jail’ party at Las Vegas hot spots Pure and at the Hard Rock Hotel. He is asking for a $50,000 appearance fee for Paris Hilton plus flights and accommodations... "
The Final Word (Or Song) On Paris?
I fear that this song will not make Paris go away! It may even help her stay in the public mind!
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Leaving "What's Happening, Vegas?"